Worries

I knew my worries were nothing to be ignored. There was something fishy, as there always has been. The evidence just keeps sliding away from my hands, but one day, I'll catch it. And I'll be prepared for it. I knew I was right this time.
Yet, I knew I didn't want to be right. I never want to. And I know I always am. What's wrong with me? Uncover it up, already!!
I have made use of my own means. And I would come it to be.

...and so it came to be. I was right.

The Crimson

I feel it welling up inside!
And Robert Smith lied
Boys do cry and with blood tears in my eyes
I'm an Anne Rice novel come to life

I can't hide the monster anymore
One can only feel desolate for so long
Until one starts to change
Into something the mirror doesn't recognize
Metamorphasize
The darkness has been biding its time

To claim its latest victim
Fresh meat for carnal desires
To become what I became
I viewed the sun for the last time

Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victim's blood?
So crimson and red
I feel it flowing from your lips
My heart is dead and so are you

And it pulses through
The desire to change
To deconstruct all of my past failing

But where to begin?
Because when you live in sin
It's hard to look at saints
Without them reflecting your jet black auras back on you

And all I have is hope
My inner burn's not fading
I'll wipe the blood from my cheek and get on with my day

Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victim's blood?
So crimson and red
I feel it flowing from your lips
My heart is dead and so are you

And all I have is hope
And all I need is time
To bury in pine under six feet of time
The lies I told me about myself
Claw my way out
Pick the splinters from under my fingernails
I won't lose hope
I won't give in...

Just live and breathe
Try not to die again
I'll try not to die again

Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victim's blood?
So crimson and red
I feel it flowing from your lips
My heart is dead and so are you

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Esta canción de Atreyu es buenísima, no deja de impresionarme su letra. Habla, claramente, acerca de un vampiro que no quiere vivir la maldición que se le ha impuesto. ¿Podrá su amada vivir a su lado conociendo su naturaleza? ¿Podrá, como dice la canción, besarlo de la misma forma cuando pruebe la sangre de sus víctimas?
El vampiro no puede negar su naturaleza. Es ésa la maldición con la que debe cargar a través de su inmortalidad: el devorar a todos aquellos que alguna vez fueron de su misma especie. Está condenado a ver el tiempo pasar sin acabarse, a mirarse al espejo y no mirar a nadie, a alejarse de la gente solo por el simple hecho de querer agotar a esa especial persona de cada gota de su sangre. Sin embargo, a mi parecer, la peor parte de su maldición, es el tener que condenar a otros a la misma suerte. Y aún así, ¿habrá quien esté decidido a mirar el tiempo desde fuera de él?¿Habrá quien esté decidido a dejar su mortalidad, a vender su alma, sólo por vivir toda la eternidad?

Home alone

I was home alone. And so I felt. Home alone... What's this stupid fear you're wearing? Fear to nothing... Back to the old days, you ask? There's no reason to. So what's all these gray clouds around you? I ask again, what's with this stupid fear you're wearing? I wish I knew sometimes. 'Cause yeah, I don't always know what's with me. Especially in these types of emotions. Now what?

Fuck, I don't even know what to write... I don't want to listen to music, I don't want to read that sick, masochistic novel; I don't feel like writing a song or playing guitar... What do I feel like? Maybe smoking a cigarette would ease up all of this weariness... But I made a promise... So now, what's left for me? What the fuck is going on inside me?